


Tension

by yuriobug



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Academic rivals, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anxiety, Books, Dark Academia, Enemies to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Libraries, M/M, Teasing, Trans Male Character, Trans Zexion, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Tension, not gonna lie i got this idea by looking at dark academia posts on tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2020-12-21 08:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21072062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuriobug/pseuds/yuriobug
Summary: “Hey, who’s that?” Axel whispered, nudging Demyx. Looking to the front of the room, he saw the teacher walk in with a short, slate haired boy following behind her. His hair fell in a curtain in front of his eye, but his visible one was blue and bright, sparking with intelligence. He walked with a straight posture, hands folded neatly at his back, uniform impeccable. All in all, he was cute, but he looked like he had a major stick up his ass.





	1. Unfortunate First Meetings

“Why do we have to be up so early?” Demyx whined, his head on the desk in first period. Why did he think first period calculus was a good idea? Oh yeah, since Roxas had it too and he could ask him for help if need be.

Demyx hated math; it got all...confusing in his head. He could get it, it just took him some time and it seemed like no one wanted to spare him that time.

“Same reason we’ve been getting up this early since middle school; because adults want to see us suffer.” Axel grumbled, though he was more awake than Demyx. Roxas, sitting on Demyx’s other side, had already started the day’s worksheet and was halfway done.

“I like getting up early.” He said, chin propped on his hand as he wrote. “It’s refreshing.”

Demyx snorted, rolling his eyes. “Nerd.”

“I’ll remember that when you need my help on homework.” Roxas replied in a deceptively sweet tone, smirking as Demyx turned white in terror.

“Hey, who’s that?” Axel whispered, nudging Demyx. Looking to the front of the room, he saw the teacher walk in with a short, slate haired boy following behind her. His hair fell in a curtain in front of his eye, but his visible one was blue and bright, sparking with intelligence. He walked with a straight posture, hands folded neatly at his back, uniform impeccable. All in all, he was cute, but he looked like he had a major stick up his ass.

“That’s Mr. Vexen’s son, Zexion. He’s a year younger than us but he skipped a grade.” Roxas whispered back.

“How do you know?” Axel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m assigned to show him around during lunch. I met him briefly in the office this morning; he seems nice, albeit a bit awkward.”

“He’s kinda cute.” Demyx commented.

“Don’t overwhelm him, it’s his first day.” Roxas rolled his eyes.

“I’m not going to do anything, just say hi!” He chuckled.

The teacher, Mrs. Aqua, cleared her throat to get the class’s attention. “Good morning, everyone.” She smiled. “This is our new student, Zexion. I expect you all to be nice, and welcome him like you welcomed me when I first began teaching here. We need to get started but I’m sure you can all introduce yourselves to Zexion after class.” She gestured for Zexion to take a seat, and Zexion scanned the room with a critical eye. Demyx felt a shiver go down his spine as that gaze passed over him. Why so intense, he was just picking a seat.

Finally, Zexion picked the seat to the farthest right, by the window in the second row. That put him in front of Axel, diagonal to Demyx.

Throughout the class, Demyx found himself more distracted than usual. He couldn’t help it; his brain latched onto interesting things, and Zexion was the newest interesting thing to happen to the school. He couldn’t help but glance at the back of the boy’s head from time to time, often losing place in the lecture while he was wondering just who this boy was. Finally, when the bell rang, Demyx took his chance.

“Hey!” He exclaimed brightly, stepping in Zexion’s way before he could step out of the room.

Zexion startled, taking a step back and clenching the strap of his messenger bag tighter in his fist.

“...Hello.” He murmured, a distrustful look on his face.

“Hey, Zexion.” The boy seemed to relax slightly when Roxas stepped in, since they had met briefly, but he was still way too uptight for Demyx’s taste.

“Roxas, hello. I assume you are still well since we last spoke this morning?” Wow, this kid had the uptight rich boy act down pat.

“I’m fine, thanks. Zexion, these are my friends Axel and Demyx.” He gestured. Axel flashed a peace sign, Demyx smirked and winked at him.

Zexion flashed a small smile. “It’s my pleasure. Not to cut this short but I don’t want to be late to my next class.” With a small nod, he hurried past them and out the door.

As soon as he was gone, Roxas punched Demyx in the shoulder. 

“Ow! What the hell, man?” Demyx huffed, rubbing the sore spot.

“Did you have to come onto him the second you met him?” Roxas hissed, rolling his eyes and leading his friends out of the room.

“I didn’t! I just winked at him!”

“And scared the shit out of him by popping up like a Jack-In-The-Box when he was heading out. Seriously, Demyx, tone it down.”

“I thought I was toning it down.” Demyx muttered, Axel snickering at his side and being no help at all.

Demyx didn’t see Zexion in any of his other classes. If he had to guess why, it was because he was probably in a bunch of AP courses. He seemed like the type.

During lunch, Demyx made his way to the library since Roxas said he’d meet him there after showing Zexion around. It wasn’t a big school, so Roxas showed up in about twenty minutes.

“How’d it go?” Demyx asked, putting his feet up on the table.

Roxas flopped into the chair next to him, pulling out his school work he needed to get done. “Fine, why wouldn’t it? Zexion’s pretty cool.”

“He seemed scared of everything, I figured the guy would have a heart attack the second he felt cornered.”

“No, he's just a little off-put by tall blondes jumping out at him at the beginning of class.” Roxas smirked, stifling a yelp when Demyx almost shoved him out of his chair.

“Anyway,” Demyx stressed, “Will you help me with my essay for Mr. Xaldin’s class? You know he’s a tough grader.” He pleaded, clasping his hands together in a prayer-like fashion.

“Yeah, yeah, just show me what you’ve written so far.”

Demyx fist pumped, pulling out his laptop and pulling up the few pages he had managed to pull from his jumbled thoughts. Before they could get started, a soft clearing of the throat made them pause.

“Oh, hey Zexion.” Roxas greeted, looking over Demyx’s shoulder. Demyx leaned his head back, getting an interesting view of the upside down boy.

“Hey, dude. What’s up?” He smiled, but Zexion didn’t seem to be in a laughing mood.

“Firstly, please do not call me ‘dude’. My name is Zexion.” He said sharply, and Demyx felt his smile slip off his face. “Secondly, forgive my intrusion but I must insist you take your feet off of the school property. I’m sure the custodial staff wouldn’t appreciate having to clean your scuff marks off the furniture.”

Demyx’s mouth dropped open. The nerve of this guy! Who did he think he was, a teacher? He was just a student, a new student at that, yet he was trying to boss Demyx around like he was the librarian himself!

“Sorry, _ Zexion. _But it’s not that serious, I’m just relaxing. You should try it sometime!” He tried to joke to diffuse the situation, but by the way Zexion’s eyes flashed, he had only made it worse.

“The library is a place of study and hard work. From what I recall from class this morning, maybe too much relaxation is part of your problem, considering you spent the period staring at the back of my head and accosting me when I attempted to leave.” His tone was deceptively calm and still held a polite lilt, but the words themselves were cutting.

Oh, so this was how he was going to be? Demyx got to his feet, feeling his own annoyance begin to bubble up as well.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but you’re being a real jerk. You can ask me to put my feet down without bringing out the personal insults. I was trying to be nice this morning, you know, be your friend? Or is the idea of a friend something you’re not familiar with?”

Zexion tilted his head, a thoughtful look crossing his face. “Is it really an insult if it’s true? And do try to keep your voice down, this is a library.”

Demyx was tempted, just for a second, to slap him. He'd definitely get suspended, maybe even expelled, but part of him thought it would definitely be worth it to knock Zexion down a peg. Instead, he allowed Roxas to come between them to diffuse the situation.

“Alright, Zexion. Look, he’ll keep his feet off of the table. But maybe it would be better if you didn’t come off so condescending about it?” He suggested.

Zexion blinked, took a deep breath, then nodded in agreement. “You’re correct, that was unseemly of me. I apologize, Roxas, for putting you in this type of position.”

“What about my apology?” Demyx cut in, eyes narrowed. Zexion raised an eyebrow, looked him up and down, before turning on his heel and walking off without another word.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Demyx growled through gritted teeth as he watched Zexion walk off. Just once, he wanted to break that calm and polite facade.

“Come on, Demyx, let’s just work on this essay you have to do.” Roxas pushed on Demyx’s shoulder until he sat back down, pouting slightly. Something told Roxas this was going to get way worse before it got better. 

Demyx was upset for the rest of the day, though he tried to get over it. He couldn’t help it, the conversation with Zexion just kept playing over and over in his head, from the thoughtful tilt of his head to his refined insults. Who talked like that anyway? Was he just trying to sound pretentious or did it inflate his ego to talk down to people? Fine, he was smart, so what, he didn’t have to constantly rub it in people’s faces and— 

“Demyx!” He shook his head, looking up to meet Axel’s eyes. They were sitting at Demyx’s house after school, under the premise of doing homework. If doing homework meant focusing for 10 minutes then goofing off for 30, then things were going great!

“Yeah, what?”

“Are you done talking about Zexion yet?” Axel looked endlessly amused, and Demyx hated how he felt his face get warm.

“I was...talking out loud?” He asked sheepishly.

Axel nodded, a smirk still on his face. “Yep. But it makes sense; who wouldn’t be upset when their crush shoots them down.”

“Okay, first of all,” he sputtered, “I do not have a crush on him! I mentioned he was kind of cute in class, that was all! Besides, we literally just met him!”

Axel didn’t look convinced whatsoever, so Demyx just grumbled under his breath and tried to focus once more on the essay revisions he needed to do. There was a lot Roxas had suggested, but usually all his revisions lead to an A for Demyx and happy parents, so it was worth it. 

“You know, I bet Zexion would help you with your essay.”

Demyx snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, right. Even if he would, there’s no way I would ask him for help after what happened today.”

Axel opened his mouth to respond, but something out the window caught his eye. “Well speak of the devil.” He looked like the cat who got the cream, and that alone put dread in Demyx’s stomach.

“What?” He asked warily, slowly getting up from his chair to walk over and see just what his friend was looking at.

“You can’t be serious.” His mouth dropped open, because in the previously empty house next to him, there was a moving truck. And who was standing next to the moving truck? Zexion, with Mr. Vexen at his side. They seemed to be unpacking the truck, if the boxes littering the driveway were anything to go by. 

“We should help.” Axel said, and Demyx almost smacked him.

“Since when do you ever want to do any work? Especially for someone you don’t know?” He demanded. 

“Since you decided to dive headfirst into an ‘enemies to lovers’ fanfiction.”

This time Demyx did slap him on the arm as Axel burst into laughter, cheeks blazing. “We are _ not _lovers!”

“Not yet! This is the ‘enemy’ part!” 

“Shut up! Just, shut up, Axel!”

“Not until you come out with me to help. Or I could just go out there myself and talk about you.”

“Absolutely not. You can’t be trusted alone, especially not with him. Fine, I’ll come along, but let it go on record that I’m not happy about it.”

He grumbled and mumbled all the way down the stairs and out the door, trying his best to unclench his jaw as they approached. Mr. Vexen was still his teacher, and he didn’t want to give the man any reason to grade him even harsher than he already did. If he hadn’t already heard about the encounter with his son from earlier, which would probably be enough to bring him down from a B to a D on principle.

However, Zexion didn’t seem like the kind of person to do that. Demyx didn’t know why, but he felt like Zexion was the kind of person who would think everyone deserves a fair shot. Or something like that, anyway. Though he didn’t exactly give Demyx a fair shot at introducing himself. 

Oh, would you look at that, they were here.

“Hey, Mr. Vexen! Zexion, you’re looking well.” Axel put on the charm, a bright grin on his face.

Mr. Vexen looked down his long, pointed nose at them, face pulled back in a sneer. Honestly, he looked at everyone that way so no surprise there.

“Axel and Demyx, I didn’t realize we would be moving in so close.” He said, as if he was considering packing up and moving away again. Demyx would happily help him pack up.

“Yep, Demyx lives next door and I live across the street. Looks like we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

Demyx found Mr. Vexen’s stare burning into him, that same intense gaze that Zexion had. No wonder the kid had a stick up his ass, look at his dad!

“Ah, yes. Zexion has told me much about you.” He glanced at Zexion, who hadn’t said a work as of yet. The boy’s face flushed a deep pink, but before Demyx could look into it further, Zexion turned away to grab the closest box to him, lifting it with a huff and marching into the house like a man on a mission.

“That reminds me, we came over to offer our help! I’m sure that all those boxes are pretty heavy, and we could get to know Zexion better in the meantime.” Axel would almost sound like a good person if it wasn’t for the shit-eating smirk on his face and the glint in his eye.

Mr. Vexen looked like he wanted to kick them off his new lawn, but instead he let out a long-suffering sigh and agreed with a slight nod. Axel nudged Demyx and he begrudgingly picked up a box labeled ‘books’, even though it felt more like bricks.

“Jesus, how much does this guy read?” He mumbled to himself as he hobbled into the house.

“My appetite for literature is ravenous, I must admit.” Zexion said from his place at the top of the dark wood stairs. He seemed to find amusement in watching Demyx struggle, if the slight smirk on his face was anything to go by.

“Then could you maybe give me a hand, oh smart ass?” 

Zexion rolled his eyes, but made his graceful descent down the stairs anyway. He grabbed the other end of the box and together the two boys made their way up the stairs and into the second room on the right. It was painted a blue a few shades darker than his hair, with a similar navy blue and white bedspread. There were bookshelves lining the walls of the large room, with many other boxes labeled ‘books’ sitting in front of each shelf. There was a wooden desk in the corner under the window facing Demyx’s window, a laptop sitting at the desk, and a normal desk chair. You would think this was the room of a normal teenager, not a total snob, Demyx thought.

“Thank you for helping us move in.” Zexion said, breaking the silence. If Demyx had been paying attention, he would’ve noticed that Zexion’s tone lacked some of the sharp hostility it had held before.

Demyx scoffed, not even bothering to look at him as he replied, “Don’t thank me, this was Axel’s idea. I was more than happy staying in my room and watching you struggle to lift these heavy boxes.” He finally turned, just to see something warm on Zexion’s face shut down, replaced by that cold exterior he had been faced with in the library.

“I see.” Zexion replied, his tone crisp. “Well either way, I was raised with manners, so thank you regardless.” He gestured for Demyx to politely get the fuck out, and Demyx was only too happy to comply.

Until he remembered that there was the rest of the house to move in and they were just getting started.

The next few hours passed by in relative silence, except for Zexion and Demyx getting into an argument every few minutes. Axel did nothing to diffuse the situation, finding it funny, and neither did Mr. Vexen, studying them like one would a science experiment. Demyx kept thinking he would just stop arguing, but another, bigger part of him just wanted to break that calm and cold facade, just once! One time! He didn’t know why he cared so much, but it bothered him like nothing else could. How could Zexion rile him up so but still keep his own cool?!

Finally, they were done. It was nearly 8 pm and Demyx was starving, but Mr. Vexen didn’t offer to let them stay for dinner and Demyx pulled Axel out of that damned house before he could get any more terrible ideas.

“That was the worst time of my life!” He groaned, flopping on his bed. 

“Really? You seemed to be having a ball arguing with Zexion.” Axel pointed out with a knowing drawl. “And hey, you can stare out your window into his room like the creep you are.”

“Oh, fuck off. I didn’t enjoy arguing with him, I just...he’s infuriating! I just want to...I don’t know, throw him off, just once!”

“Sounds like you want to see him flustered, but I’m sure there are better ways to do it than picking on him.” Axel teased with a wink, ducking on reflex when Demyx threw his pillow at him.

“Alright, alright! I should be getting home anyway. Try not to stare at him out your window, Romeo!” Axel quickly hurried out of the room before Demyx could throw something else.

Demyx got up and stomped over to his blinds, throwing them shut while stubbornly avoiding the view of Zexion’s room right in front of him.

Axel was wrong, there was no crush. Demyx just wanted to one up the picky asshole in his class, nothing more.

With that thought confirmed in his head, he forced himself to head downstairs to get dinner and resolved not to think about Zexion for the rest of the night.


	2. Hesitant Truce

A knock at the door woke Zexion from his sleep the next morning, and even with his eyes closed, he knew that it was at least half an hour before his alarm was set to go off. Vexen always made sure he was up early to, as Vexen would say, “get in the correct mindset of a proper young man.”

“Good morning, Vexen.” He murmured, just loud enough for his guardian to hear and leave him to his own devices. Zexion forced himself to get up, since he had gone to bed a little later than usual due to unpacking. He hadn’t felt comfortable leaving all his books in boxes, wanting to see them out and organized perfectly before he could easily lay his head to rest.

With a stretch and a yawn, he headed to the bathroom to prepare for the new day ahead. As he brushed his teeth, he went over all that had happened the day before. He had struck up a tentative acquaintanceship with Roxas, much to his pleasure. Roxas seemed smart, with a similar care for the written word. Now, his friend choice on the other hand…

Zexion rolled his eyes. Demyx had been infuriating. Maybe Zexion had been a bit harsh calling him out for staring and accusing him of accostment, but in his defense, he had no idea how to handle so much attention right off the bat. He had tried to approach the subject of reconciliation when Demyx helped him carry the boxes to his room, but Demyx was giving off clear signals that screamed ‘leave me alone.’ So Zexion would just accept it as a lost cause and move forward.

That is, as long as Demyx didn’t put his feet on any more school furniture. One might find it petty, but Zexion had a certain love of the library and hated to see them mistreated in any way, shape or form. They had been his escape as a child, long before Vexen had provided a safe haven in the form of adoption.

He was just slipping on his grey binder when another knock at the door sounded.

“Yes, Vexen?” He called, assuming it was a summons to breakfast or something of the sort.

“Your...friend has come to offer you a ride to school.” Friend? The only friend Zexion could think of lived back in his hometown, and surely he hadn’t made any close connections here yet. It didn’t help that Vexen’s pause on the word ‘friend’ sent unease throughout his system. School hadn't even started and he could already tell that this day was going to be a roller coaster.

“And just who would this ‘friend’ be?” He straightened his tie in the mirror, making sure his school blazer was perfectly fitted to his slender form.

“Axel and his sycophant, Demyx.”

Zexion almost tripped over one of the empty boxes on the floor as he stumbled for the door, sure he had misheard. Axel and Demyx? Offering to drive him to school?? Something wasn’t adding up; was this some joke? Were they luring him to the car like a lamb to slaughter? What if they made him late? Or worse, they didn’t make it to school at all!? He wouldn’t be surprised if they were looking for someone else to drag into their delinquency. 

Then again, they couldn’t be that bad, if they were Roxas’ friends, right? This is why he preferred the written word over real people, much less complicated. Zexion stared at the doorknob, trying to decide whether he should join the brigade or make up some excuse, some reason not to go with them. Surely Vexen would understand?

“Zexion?” Vexen’s call made him run a frustrated hand through his hair, the comforting curtain falling back in place as soon as he ruffled it.

“I...think I’ll decline. Give them my thanks, but I’ll ride with you this morning as I did yesterday.” He felt like a coward, but Vexen's small sigh of relief helped soothe the burn of slight shame he felt on his cheeks.

He could’ve sworn he heard Vexen whisper ‘oh, thank God’ before he walked away, leaving Zexion to finish getting ready and finally head down to breakfast.

“Enlighten me, Zexion; are you friends with those boys? I know they helped us unpack yesterday, but something still throws me off about them.” Vexen asked as they ate.

Zexion was silent, chewing slowly to buy himself time to think. “We...have a mutual acquaintance. Roxas.”

Vexen nodded in approval. “Roxas is a good student. He was always interested in my chemistry labs. Though I see his friend choice could use a little work…”

Zexion couldn’t help but admit silently he had thought the same thing a few moments ago. Then again, maybe that’s why friends weren't exactly his forte; he couldn’t understand human nuances. He was still surprised he had managed to keep his friendship with Lexaeus on good terms, though that probably had to do with their similar personalities.

“However,” Vexen cut into Zexion's thoughts, “I did notice you seemed to be quite...passionate in your rantings about Demyx specifically.” The judgement contained in his raised eyebrow was not appreciated nor warranted.

“He just...managed to frustrate me with his behavior. Forgive me, I didn’t mean to act out of turn.”

“You didn’t, I was just...curious. I’ve never seen you so passionate about a person before. Books, yes, but a person? He must have really gotten under your skin.”

“What are you implying?” Zexion asked sharply, eyes narrowed. 

“Nothing, nothing. Just...wondering if that agitation of yours is hiding something more.”

Zexion opened his mouth to protest but found that for once, his verbose vocabulary had failed him. Vexen had the nerve to seem amused, a small grin poorly hidden behind the rim of his mug as he finished off the last bit of his morning coffee.

“Well Zexion, we should be going.” Vexen put their dishes in the sink, grabbed his jacket for the cool autumn air, and they were out the door. Zexion was glad to leave this conversation behind him.

Whatever Vexen had been implying, Zexion refused to entertain the thought any further! Now if his brain could also receive that memo, then he would be golden.

Now if only his brain would cooperate and he could stop thinking about the blond.

He was silent during the ride, but that was nothing new so thankfully Vexen didn’t question it. Vexen bid him goodbye at the front doors, and Zexion made his way to first period. He was eager to sit down and open his most recent book now that Demyx had finally left his brain, but when he walked into the room he was beckoned to the front desk by Mrs. Aqua, the only other person in the room at this early hour. 

“How are you this morning, Zexion?” She asked gently, a small smile on her face.

“I am well, thank you Mrs. Aqua. And yourself?” He remained polite, though his thoughts were more focused on the book on his desk. It had been given to him by his mother, and it was one of two mementos he had left of her. He made it a point to reread the book often, though he was sure to keep it in near perfect condition. Zexion honestly didn't know what he would do if anything happened to that book.

“I’m doing alright, thank you.” Mrs. Aqua cleared her throat, successfully recapturing his attention. “I’ll get to the point. One of my students is having a hard time in class. I know he has potential but I can’t seem to help him access it. Maybe someone closer to his age will help. Would you be a tutor for one of your fellow classmates?”

Zexion tilted his head, glancing to the side as he thought it over. Someone in need of academic assistance? Well, Zexion was a good choice in terms of tutoring, not to sound too hubristic. But Zexion believed that everyone could reach their potential if they put in the effort, and if he could be the one to light the spark, he saw no reason why he should decline.

Except…

“May I ask, who the student is? I’d like to know who to expect, I assume after school in the library.”

“Oh, right!” Mrs. Aqua chuckled. “Demyx. I saw you two talking yesterday, so luckily you two know each other already!” She kept talking, but Zexion couldn’t hear her over the pounding headache beginning in his temples.

Why, oh why, did it seem he was fated to run into Demyx time and time again? They wanted nothing to do with each other, did fate miss the memo?

But still...it would be cruel to refuse a student in need, even if that student was Demyx.

“So will you do it?” Zexion snapped out of his thoughts, jerking his head up to meet her eyes.

He tried to stall for time, but what could he do? Finally, with a sigh, he opened his mouth to give her an answer.

—————

“I can’t believe he said no to riding with us!” Demyx exclaimed on the ride to school, arms crossed over his chest. “He’s such a stick in the mud, it’s insane!”

“Why are you upset? You didn’t want me to ask him to ride with us in the first place!” Axel pointed out, trying to hold back laughter as he glanced at his pouting friend in the rear view mirror.

Demyx sputtered, not sure how to answer that. “I-I don’t! But he could at least be polite enough to accept the ride and then just ignore us when we get to school!”

“You’re impossible. Just admit you like him.” Roxas rolled his eyes. “You like him and you want him to like you, and since he doesn’t you just want his attention in any way you can get it.”

“First of all, bullshit. You took one Psychology class, hop off my dick, Sigmund Freud.”

Axel nearly crashed he was laughing so hard, and Roxas aimed responded with an eloquent rude gesture.

“Fine, don’t listen to me. But I know I’m right.” Roxas muttered, turning back to his phone.

Pulling into the parking lot, Demyx was happy to escape the conversation about Zexion, but speak of the devil and he shall appear, no?

“Roxas, may I have a moment of your time?” Zexion approached as soon as they got to first period, and Roxas, like the traitor he was, allowed Zexion to lead him to the corner of the classroom.

“What are they talking about?” Demyx hissed, narrowing his eyes at the boys. Roxas said something that made Zexion chuckle, a hand coming up to cover his mouth, and it instantly pissed him off.

“Who covers their mouth when they laugh?! You’re supposed to laugh freely, so others know you’re happy! Ugh, he’s so pretentious.” Demyx grumbled, resting his head in his arms as he stared.

“Sounds like you just really want to see his smile.”

“Shut _ up, _Axel.”

“Just saying. Look, there’s nothing wrong with having an unrequited crush, Demyx.”

“Of course not, but I don’t have a crush, so you’re wasting your breath.”

Before Axel could push, Mrs. Aqua called for the class’s attention so they could begin. Roxas and Zexion headed to their seats, parting with a wave, and Demyx snapped his pencil in half. He wanted to know _ desperately _ about what they talked about, but he didn’t want Zexion to overhear and have the satisfaction of knowing he so effortlessly held Demyx’s attention. 

After an agonizing class, Demyx was instantly ready to hop into interrogation mode, but Mrs. Aqua had to ruin his plans by calling for him to stay behind. Even so, he tried to plaster on a smile, even though all he could think about was what Roxas and Zexion could’ve possibly talked about, and what had Roxas said to make Zexion not only smile, but laugh?! Why was it so easy for Roxas to skip past Zexion's walls but Demyx couldn't get a rise out of him to save his life?!

“Demyx, I’m worried about your performance in this class.” Mrs. Aqua cut straight to the point, and Demyx couldn't help but let out a small sigh through his nose. He knew his grades were lacking, but it wasn't for lack of trying. He just hoped she wasn't going to report him to his parents or something, they were always worrying about him and his future. “I know you’re trying your best, so maybe some extra help, other than Roxas, would be a good choice for you.”

“Yeah, uhuh.” Demyx muttered, still lost in thought about what Zexion and Roxas had been muttering about.

“So I’ve assigned someone to help you with your school work.” Mrs. Aqua handed him a slip of paper. “Meet Zexion at the library after school, he’ll be waiting for you.”

Now _ that _caught his attention. “What?! Zexion’s going to be tutoring me? How did you even get him to agree to that?” He demanded. What was Zexion playing at?

“Demyx, he offered to be your tutor, there was no coercion on my part except for broaching the subject in the first place.” Mrs. Aqua smiled. “I know it may seem a little strange, but please try to give this a chance. I really think this will help you.”

Demyx forced another smile until he was out of the room, his mind racing. Why would Zexion not only agree to tutor him, but offer to take on the job?! Was he trying to suck up? But wouldn’t his grades be enough for that? Maybe he was trying to make Demyx look stupid by proving him unteachable! What a jerk!

“I’ll show him! I’ll be the best student he’s ever had!”

“Who are you talking to?”

He jumped, turning to Axel. He had walked into his next class without even realizing it, and Axel was staring at him as if he was seriously concerned for his mental health.

“Nothing, nothing, just...thinking.” He sighed. “Apparently Mrs. Aqua decided to assign me a tutor.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“_But, _Zexion is my tutor! And apparently he offered to do it?! I bet he just wants to make me look stupid!”

“Or,” Axel rolled his eyes, “he wants to bury the hatchet? He seems like a mature guy, maybe he wants to move on.”

“I doubt it.” Demyx sniffed. 

“Just give it a chance; who knows, maybe you’ll end up being friends.”

Demyx severely doubted it, and that doubt weighed on him until the end of the day. He was tempted to bail, but he was sure Zexion would run to the teacher and get him in trouble. He seemed like the type. Roxas and Axel came with him, but they grabbed another table off to the side so they didn’t get in the way. Demyx was effectively on his own.

“Don’t overthink it. Just try to make this as smooth a process as possible,” Roxas had advised, but he didn’t have to deal with the same burning...something in his chest that Demyx felt whenever Zexion even looked at him, let alone spoke to him in that politely condescending tone.

“Demyx.” Zexion greeted him with a slight nod of his head as he approached, his study materials already spread out neatly on the table in front of him.

“Hey.” Demyx mumbled, plopping in the chair next to the boy. He was tempted to put his feet up, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his cool if Zexion went off on him again.

“So, what do you need help with?” Zexion had kept it polite, but there was a certain distance to his tone that rubbed Demyx the wrong way. First he didn’t even bother apologizing after causing a scene yesterday, and now he was just treating Demyx like nothing had ever happened, like he was just some casual acquaintance and not his rival!

That’s right, rival! As of now, as far as Demyx was concerned, they were rivals. Nevermind the fact that tutoring hadn't even started and Demyx had no idea if it would even work to get his grades up, but that wasn't important!

“How about we just start with the homework and go from there?” Demyx suggested, pulling his notebook out of his bag.

“Alright, if it’ll help you. This is your study session, after all.”

“Yeah, no shit.” He muttered, trying not to smirk at the scandalized frown that spread across Zexion’s face.

“I see you still haven’t learned to control your crass tongue.”

“I see _ you _still haven’t learned how to stop being a condescending little shit!”

“Demyx, this is a library—”

“Oh fuck off! Look, it’s obvious you don’t like me, so why did you agree to tutor me?” He demanded.

For once, it seemed he had rendered the quick-witted boy silent. Demyx would be celebrating, but he wanted his answer.

“Well?” He could feel Axel and Roxas staring at them, but he couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

Zexion had ducked his head, seemingly hiding behind his hair as his mind whirred. Demyx was about ready to get up and leave when he finally spoke up.

“I...It would be a correct assumption that I am not fond of you,” He began, making Demyx roll his eyes, “But...Mrs. Aqua told me you needed help, and I personally don’t believe that one’s personal vendettas should get in the way of helping an otherwise innocent person.”

It took Demyx a minute to process that, but when he did, he found himself settling down a little. He honestly didn't know what to say, part of him wanting to stay indignant and the other part intrigued to see what could happen if he accepting this olive branch.

“I’m not a charity case,” He finally muttered, but it lacked the usual bite. 

Zexion tilted his head in that puppy-like way that made something uncomfortable twist in Demyx’s chest once more.

“I never claimed to see you as one. I simply want to help.” He sighed, turning so his whole body was facing Demyx. After a pause, he held out a hand.

“You and I don’t have to find each other agreeable, but while we’re working together, let’s declare as truce. You can get the help you need, I can provide it, and then we can go back to our mutual dislike.”

Demyx stared at the hand, then looked back into Zexion’s visible eye.

“This isn’t a joke? You’ll knock it off with the insults?”

“As long as you respect the school furniture and my boundaries.”

Demyx sighed. He still wasn’t sure what boundaries he had crossed, but he could learn if it meant actually passing this class without begging Roxas for help every weekend.

“Deal.” He reached out and shook Zexion’s hand, trying very hard not to pay too much attention to the slender fingers encased in his own.

"Good. Now, you said you wanted to start with the homework?"

From across the room, Roxas and Axel watched unabashedly, since Demyx and Zexion seemed too lost in their shared bubble to notice the world around them anymore.

“How long do you give it?” Axel asked, smirking.

Roxas tapped his pencil against his chin, watching the boys with a critical eye. “I wanna say a month.”

“Why so long?”

“Something tells me there’s more to this love story than meets the eye. We might be surprised.”

"Oh, I hope so."


	3. Someone Gets Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx fucks up, and a little more is found out about Zexion's past. Updated Chapter

The rest of the month was strange, to say the least.

Demyx and Zexion stuck to their declared truce in the library well enough, their heated debates quickly settling into jaunty banter. Demyx realized that Zexion wasn’t talking down to him with his vocabulary, he was just that much of a nerd that he talked like that naturally. Zexion realized that Demyx wasn’t a slacking delinquent, he was just more laid back and carefree than the rigid structure he was used to.

Who would've thunk that a few simple conversations could straighten out a misunderstanding, huh?

Demyx even managed to make Zexion laugh at one of his jokes! To this day, thinking about that moment filled him with a warmth that he assumed was a victory. He had finally managed to break down that stoic wall, enough to make him laugh! The fact that his memory seemed to focus on Zexion’s smile over the victorious event as a whole was something he steadfastly ignored.

It had been towards the end of August, the leaves on their way to turning colors. Zexion had found them a table in the library as usual, and Demyx had met him after his last class. He had lingered behind a bookshelf for a few moments, just watching the studious teen. When no one was around and Zexion finally unclenched, it reminded Demyx why he had found the teen kinda cute in the beginning. Especially when he was reading; watching his reactions to whatever new book he was reading was fascinating, and it almost made Demyx want to pick up the book just to see what all the hullabaloo was about.

But eventually Demyx had to realize that he was being somewhat creepy, just lurking in the shelves. So he straightened his shirt, cleared his throat, and walked around the corner to meet with his tutor.

"Demyx, hello." Zexion gave him a polite smile as he approached, tucking his book away into his bag. "What did you want to work on today?"

"Well, actually..." Demyx let out a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm kind of...caught up on everything. I just wanted to share some good news with you!"

Zexion let out a curious hum, flicking a stray hair out of his face. A futile effort, but an endearing one nonetheless. "Wouldn't good news be better shared with your friends?"

Okay, ouch.

Demyx let out a small chuckle, rolling his eyes fondly as he plopped in an empty seat at the table. "Uh, yeah. Which is exactly why I'm telling you. Don't you think that I would consider you a friend by now?"

"...Oh. I guess so. What's the good news?"

Demyx gave a fond roll of his eyes; he didn't know when Zexion's short answers and ever-changing thought process became more endearing than annoying, but it sure made their time together go a lot smoother.

"Close your eyes."

"Hold on, what?" Zexion scrunched his nose, alarm and unease instantly painting across his face. Jeez, what did he think Demyx was gonna do?

"I'm not gonna hurt you, I just want to surprise you! Come on, you can trust me!" Demyx smiled his best smile, even adding in a thumbs up for good measure.

Zexion still seemed skeptical, but he took a deep breath and shut his eyes tight, looking like he was expecting an attack than a friendly surprise. Well, Demyx would have to work with what he was given. He dug into his bookbag, trying to hurry as Zexion looked more uncomfortable as each second passed by. Finally, Demyx pulled a certain essay (an essay that he had been working on with Zexion for the past month) out of his bag. In the left top corner of said essay, a bright 'A-' was written in blue pen, a staple of Mrs. Aqua herself.

Laying it on the table in front of him, Demyx took a deep breath before finally breaking the silence. "Okay, open your eyes!"

Zexion did as told, gaze falling to the paper in front of him. Demyx forced himself to keep his excited smile and shove down his nervous feelings, even as Zexion's face stayed blank as he picked up the paper and flipped through it with an agonizing slowness. Finally, when he got to the end, Zexion met Demyx's eyes and grinned. Not the polite smile he usually gave, but a small grin that hinted at true joy.

"Demyx, this shows great improvement! Mrs. Aqua is not one to pad grading, so our tutoring seems to be working!" His grin widened, and Demyx couldn't help but beam back. He knew he should be crowing in victory about closing the gap with his rival, but that was honestly the last thing on his mind.

"Does this mean you're looking to end our partnership?"

Wait, what?

"No!" Demyx winced as Zexion shushed him; the boy never did lighten up on the library rules. "I still need your help! I wanna make sure I can keep these grades."

"I'm sure you could keep this streak going on your own, but if you're sure, then these sessions can continue."

Demyx let out a small sigh of relief through his nose; his grades would live on! Not to mention, he wasn't quite ready to end these moments of peace he had with the scholar.

"Thanks. Though, it's a good thing for the both of us that our tutoring sessions aren't over. I get good grades, and you get to look at my pretty face." Demyx leaned back in his chair with his arms laced lazily behind his head, only to realize that in his confident hubris he had tipped back just a little too far.

"Aw, shi-" The chair crashing to the floor echoed throughout the near silent library, and Demyx squeezed his eyes shut to both stop the room from spinning and to await the inevitable scolding from Zexion. Instead, he heard a muffled snort. He opened his eyes slowly, his vision clearing so he could focus on the ceiling.

"Uh...Zexion?" He murmured weakly, but a snicker was all the answered him. Demyx awkwardly maneuvered himself out of the chair. He slowly peeked his head over the desk, ready to duck if Zexion had for some reason lost his mind, but he seemed fine.

Except for the fact that he was chuckling up a storm, face buried in his arms as he tried to keep quiet to avoid causing even more of a disturbance. Demyx didn't know what to do; should he be indignant, seeing that Zexion was literally laughing at his pain, or should he crack another joke? Surprise, it was a hidden third option; he could sit there and stare like the disaster he was and wonder why his rival's muffled laughter could make a smile want to break out across his face and something warm bloom in his chest.

"A-Are you hurt?" Zexion finally managed to mutter, turning his head just enough for his mouth to poke out under his curtain of slate blue hair.

"Me? Nah, I'm fine. I have a pretty hard head!" Demyx hopped to his feet and dusted himself off, waiting and watching in amusement as Zexion finally started to pull himself back together, albeit unsuccessfully.

...Okay, so it hadn't been a joke exactly but the point was, Demyx had made Zexion laugh! Even when the llibrarian gave them a heated glare and an annoyed harrumph, Zexion still had to choke down laughter for a good few minutes.

However, all of that faded away as soon as they left their sanctuary. Instead of being nasty, they just avoided each other. If they had to talk, like during a pair project in class, they stayed in the realm of awkward silences and chopped sentences. It was easier in tutoring; they were focused on their work and making sure an understanding of the material was reached. In class, they had no such mutual goal. They finished any paired work in record time, and after that, there was nothing left to link them together.

Zexion wanted to breach the silence, but he didn’t know if he’d be accepted. He was anxious enough just sitting next to the blond in class without the sharp words between them as protection, and just the thought of trying to bridge the gap between them filled him with disquiet. Demyx figured he had already burned any bridge that might've been in construction, and he didn't want to overstep. He had just reached an equilibrium with the boy, and he wasn't trying to mess it up.

Neither boy was brave enough to take a step forward, so for now it seemed they were stuck at an impasse.

* * *

“Watching you two is painful.”

Demyx sighed, slamming his head on his desk. He was hanging out with Roxas and Axel in the lunchroom, trying to work on the lyrics for his newest song. His mind couldn’t stay focused, which wasn’t a new phenomenon, but it’s what his mind was distracted with that bothered him. It didn’t help that Axel and Roxas never passed up an opportunity to bring said distraction up.

“Then stop watching and keep staring at Xion like you do for the entirety of science class.” He muttered, glaring harder at the shared word document on his laptop.

“Ooh, entirety. Big word Demyx, is Zexion finally rubbing off on you?” Roxas gave an innocent grin, steadfastly ignoring the Xion comment even as his cheeks began to burn.

“I hate you both.” Demyx sighed, finally shutting his laptop. He wasn’t going to get any more work done when he couldn’t stop thinking about the object of his rivalry.

“I don’t get it, Demyx; you two are on such good terms in the library! Why can’t it be like that any other time?”

“I don’t know!” Demyx threw his arms up. “We’re rivals, we’re not supposed to be all buddy-buddy!”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Roxas deadpanned, “Zexion, Xion, and I are academic rivals but I hang out with both of them on the regular.”

Demyx almost snapped his neck with how quickly he turned his head to look at him. “Wait, _ what_?”

Roxas blinked, exchanging a look with Axel.

“I...said I hang out with Zexion and Xion on the regular.”

“Since when?!”

“Since he got here. Sometimes I grab lunch with him and Xion when you’re busy in the music room, or we’ll all hang out in the library before you come to tutor him.”

“And why did I never know about this?”

“Demyx, will you relax? You know Xion, and Zexion’s only been here since Monday; that’s four days. It’s not like I’m dating him behind your back or anything.”

Demyx sputtered, feeling his face turn red. “I didn’t say anything about you two d-dating! I wouldn’t care if you were!” He exclaimed, pointedly ignoring the scoff of disbelief Axel let out. “I was just...surprised that he actually hangs out with people.”

“Just because he doesn’t hang out with you doesn’t mean he doesn’t hang out with anyone.”

“I don’t want to hang out with him, he’s my rival.” Demyx was definitely pouting by now, but he would be damned if he admitted it.

“Too bad, because he’s coming over with Xion in two days and you’re going to be there,” Axel spoke up, focused on his phone as if he hadn’t just shattered Demyx’s entire world.

He flapped his arms around, trying to translate the trainwreck in his mind to comprehensible words.

“Why would you do that?!” He finally screeched, but Axel seemed unfazed.

“I’m sick of watching you two dance around each other. Whether you like him or not is irrelevant at this point; Zexion seems pretty cool and you two can be rivals without hating each other. So like I said, he’s coming over tomorrow to hang out and you are going to squash this shit.”

From the way he was talking, Demyx knew there was no way he was getting out of this. He groaned and hid his face in his arms at his desk. Little did he know, his rival was having a similar issue.

* * *

“I can’t believe I agreed to this!” Zexion was pacing in an empty classroom, hands clasped tightly behind his back.

“I don’t understand why you’re freaking out so much, you said Axel and Roxas were pretty cool,” Xion replied, sitting at the front desk. She and Zexion were supposed to be working on a project, but she could tell when he arrived that something was on his mind, and it had to be pretty bad if it stopped him from doing his work. She may have only known him for a few days, but she knew by know that he let nothing stand in the way of his studies if he could help it.

“Yes, they’re acceptable, but Demyx will be there!” Zexion felt like pulling his hair out.

“...So?”

“He hates me!”

Xion sighed, rolling her eyes. What was she going to do with him? “He doesn’t hate you. If anything, it just seems like he doesn’t know how to talk to you.”

“He talks to me perfectly well when we’re in a tutoring session.”

“But that’s because there’s a predetermined topic there. When you two aren’t tutoring, you’re like ducklings struggling with their first swim.”

Zexion shot her a sharp glance; he didn’t like being compared to a helpless baby animal.

“Besides, I’ll be there with you if you need a scapegoat, and I doubt that Roxas and Axel will let things go too awry. Demyx isn't a mean guy, you know.”

That did calm his nerves a little, but still, the thought of being in close quarters with Demyx made his stomach hurt in the oddest of ways.

“But I do have a question,” Xion asked as Zexion settled in the chair next to her, finally ready to work on the project.

“Alright.”

“Are you...I mean, do you…” she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “How do I wanna say this…?”

Zexion raised an eyebrow; Xion wasn’t usually one to mince words, so he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of worry creeping up his spine.

That worry turned into hot embarrassment flooding his face when she finally asked, “Are you sure you’re not at least partly uncomfortable because you have a crush on him?”

Zexion gaped at her, eyes wide. What. the. Fuck. Zexion, having a crush on Demyx?! Absolutely not! Xion was a smart girl, but that was the dumbest thing Zexion had ever heard.

“And what, pray tell, makes you think I have romantic feelings for Demyx, of all people.” It was more of a demand than a question at this point.

“Well, whenever we’ve hung out this past week, you’re always ranting about him. And sometimes, you sound more like you’re pining than anything.”

“Forgive my skepticism, but I think an example should be provided here.”

Xion smirked, sitting up in her seat. “Gladly. Just yesterday, you were venting about how Demyx fell out of his chair during your tutoring session, and you went from talking about the loud noise and the library disturbance to talking about the way Demyx smiled when he caught you laughing at him. Not to mention the, and I’m quoting here, ‘oceanic gleam in his eyes when he got me to laugh against my will.’”

Zexion felt like his face was on fire. Like a house ready to crumble from the blaze. He remembered that moment vividly; he had gone to Xion’s house after tutoring Demyx because he was helping her with her book report. How it had turned into him venting about Demyx, he didn’t remember, but now he was severely regretting it. 

“I...that’s...I didn’t….” He couldn’t think of anything to say; this was the second time this week he had been rendered speechless.

Xion softened, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. “Zexion, I know this can be overwhelming, but you don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“How would you know?!” He found himself suddenly snapping, instantly feeling remorse as Xion recoiled in shock. They stared at each other in tense silence, before Zexion averted his gaze and stared at his desk.

“...I guess I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, I should be apologizing. You’ve known me barely a week, I have no excuse for snapping at you.”

Xion smiled, patting his shoulder again. “It’s okay, Zexion. But I promise, whether you have a crush or not, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Now, let’s get started on this project!”

Zexion nodded, a weak smile on his face. Throughout the rest of the lunch period, he knew he was absent-minded and distracted, but luckily Xion didn’t call him out on it. However, one question stuck out in his mind.

If he got this discombobulated just from thinking about Demyx, then how would he be able to handle being in his presence for a few hours at Axel’s house?

“Hey,” Xion tapped his arm, snapping him out of hid thoughts. From the way the hall was starting to fill with students, Zexion assumed it was time for class to resume. Had he really been so out of it that he'd missed the bell.

“Yes?” Zexion blinked up at her, slightly dazed from being yanked from his thoughts so abruptly.

“Demyx isn’t that bad. I know he seems like a slacker but in all honesty, he probably has the biggest heart here. He’s not the worst person to have a crush on, that’s for sure.”

The only thing that stopped Zexion from skipping the rest of the day was the fact that Vexen’s classroom was on this floor and he didn’t want to get caught leaving. Luckily he didn’t have any other classes with Demyx, so he didn’t have to deal with looking at the object of his confusion for the rest of the day. They didn’t have a tutoring session either since Demyx had a doctor’s appointment.

By the time the end of the day came around, Zexion was exhausted. He had hardly been able to concentrate because every time he tried to focus, his mind kept circling back to Demyx. His dumb jokes, his laidback nature, the way he tried his hardest to understand in their tutoring sessions, the way he smiled when he got something right…

He suddenly let out a loud groan on the ride home with Vexen, hiding his face in his hands. 

“Are you alright, Zexion? Feeling unwell?” Vexen glanced at him, concern evident on his face.

Zexion felt his ears burn; he hadn’t meant to do that out loud and now he had worried Vexen. Nice going, Zexion.

“I’m...I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” Zexion rubbed at his nose bridge with index finger and thumb, trying to stave off the headache he felt coming on.

“If you insist. I have some medicine in the glove box if you need it.”

Zexion did not need it, because if he took it that would be admitting there was a problem, which he was not willing to do. Vexen was amazing as far as guardians were concerned, but he had a habit of seeing Zexion as the same scared six year old he’d adopted years ago, and not the freshly eighteen-year-old he was now. He didn’t want to cause the man more worry than necessary.

When they got home, Zexion mumbled some excuse about homework as he ran up the stairs, even though he was known for finishing his work at school. Vexen didn’t say anything, but Zexion could feel his worried eyes on his back until he disappeared from view.

He tossed his backpack into the corner of his room, basically collapsing in his desk chair. Was he being dramatic? Yes, but he felt like he deserved it. Having a crush wasn’t something he had much experience in. His life hadn’t left much room for it. His first few years of childhood were unpleasant, to say the least, and after being adopted, he had spent his time trying to heal. He hadn’t even stopped to consider his sexuality; not that it bothered him. Vexen hadn’t minded him being trans, so he had no doubt he would be accepted as gay.

He just never thought a crush could feel so sickening yet so sweet. If, indeed, a crush was what he was feeling, which he doubted.

He turned in his chair, looking out his window, only to find that oceanic gaze that had haunted him turned his way. Demyx was sitting at his desk, gazing across the way at Zexion. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, but Zexion figured he didn’t look much better.

They stared at each other, time frozen in the space between them. Zexion couldn’t even begin to decipher the look in Demyx’s eye, or maybe he didn’t want to. Maybe it was too much for him to face.

Finally, the corners of Demyx’s lips quirked up, and he lifted a hand for a small wave. Zexion swallowed thickly, raising his hand to wave in return. It was the most awkward exchange he’d ever had, but there was something warm, something almost tender about it that made him want it to never end.

Demyx raised his phone, gesturing for Zexion to take a look. They had exchanged numbers for tutoring purposes, but had never actually used them outside of that purpose. The thought of taking that first step towards something more almost made Zexion throw the blinds closed and toss his phone across the room, but he knew that would for sure make Vexen come running. So he took a deep breath, unlocked his phone and prepared for whatever was coming next.

_ ‘So, you and Xion are coming over tomorrow?’ _

Zexion swallowed, fingers slowly beginning to tap out a response. Okay, things were going well, so far. Easy question, easy answer. You got this, Zexion.

_ ‘Yes. Axel invited us.’ _

He saw Demyx frown and begin to type.

_ ‘You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.’ _

_ ‘Do you not want me to come?’ _Zexion couldn’t blame him, but he also couldn’t ignore the pang of hurt in his chest. Perhaps he had hoped their truces in the library had softened Demyx towards him somewhat.

_ ‘No! I mean, no, that’s not what I mean! I just figured since you and I...haven’t been on the best of terms, that you wouldn’t want to be around me.’ _

Zexion sat back in his chair, slouching down so he could hide his red face from Demyx as he typed.

_ “As time has passed, I have found myself not minding your presence as I did before. Believe me, I would’ve said no if I didn’t want to see you.’ _

It didn’t hit him until he hit send that he had basically implied that he had a desire to see Demyx, and if Demyx hadn’t still been watching him from the window he would’ve banged his head against his desk. Maybe a concussion would make him forget what he’d just typed. He doubted it, but maybe it was worth a shot.

_ ‘Oh. Well, that’s cool! I’m looking forward to seeing you too, Zexion :)’ _

Zexion snapped his head up, but Demyx had closed the blinds. He closed his own, just in case, before letting out an irritated sigh and rubbing at his nose bridge. Maybe he could get out of this by claiming a migraine.

“This is the most infuriating thing I’ve ever dealt with.” He muttered, muffled into the curve of his palm. The worst part was, he wasn't sure if he wanted it to stop.

* * *

Demyx screamed into his pillow. What had he done?! Why had he just assumed that Zexion wanted to see him, now he looked completely desperate! Axel and Roxas weren’t around this time, thank God, so he didn’t have to hear them making fun of him for his shitty skills in communication. This was all Zexion’s fault; if he hadn’t moved here, Demyx wouldn’t have these problems in the first place!

Demyx rolled over, looking towards his closed blinds. Zexion, in less than a week, had caused more chaos on Demyx's mind than any assignment Mr. Vexen ever had. A real feat, truly.

Then again, maybe Axel was right. Maybe this rivalry was pretty dumb. If Roxas hung out with him then he must be pretty cool, despite his sometimes snooty attitude. The only thing he could do now was wait and see.

* * *

Zexion spent the next day pacing. He couldn’t focus on his homework, he couldn’t focus on his latest book, he couldn’t even focus on anything Vexen said to him. He ended up laying on his bed in a daze until Xion came over, a few hours before they were supposed to leave.

Zexion hadn’t told her about the moment in the window with Demyx, but it seemed she had an inkling that something had happened. Zexion’s anxiety was through the roof as soon as she mentioned the little get-together, and she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. It was obvious he was a little overwhelmed.

“You know, we don’t have to go.” She murmured, sitting in his desk chair as Zexion sat on his bed.

“I’m aware, but I want to. Maybe Demyx and I can finally bridge this gap that’s preventing us from moving forward.” he trailed off, not sure how he wanted to finish his sentence.

“Just how forward do you want to move?” Xion teased, holding her hands up in surrender when Zexion narrowed his eyes at her.

“Not this again; I already told you, I don't have a crush on him!” He exclaimed, a little too loudly, considering two seconds later he heard Vexen’s feet hurrying up the stairs to his room. He could also hear the raucous laughter from Vexen’s old colleague, Xigbar. The man was like a drunken, pirate uncle, always teasing Zexion for his lack of experience in anything that wasn’t academics.

“Zexion? Are you alright?” Vexen knocked on the door but didn’t open it, something Zexion was extremely grateful for. Xion was no help, practically wheezing with laughter and just barely managing to stifle it with her hands. If Zexion was a lesser man, he would’ve flipped her off, but he remembered at the last second that such an action was unbecoming.

“Y-Yes, I’m fine. I was just involved in a heated debate with Xion.”

“About crushes, of all things?”

Xion let out a huge wheeze, and Zexion decided he wasn’t above throwing a pillow at her, which she caught and buried her face in to muffle herself even more.

“...Uh...we’re rehearsing a passage we have to recite in English class.”

“...Alright, Zexion. If that’s the story you want to go with.” Zexion felt bad about lying, especially when he didn’t do it well, but he didn’t want Vexen getting worked up about something that wasn’t a big deal in the first place.

He stayed silent until Vexen headed back downstairs, before letting out a sigh and flopping back on his bed.

“I never thought you could be so dramatic.” Xion teased, but when Zexion didn’t respond she realized he might be a little bit overwhelmed. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

“It’s not you,” Zexion muttered, “I just...have a lot on my mind.”

“Well, if you want to talk about it, I promise I won’t laugh anymore.”

Zexion considered it, and it was a promising thought. But he just wasn’t ready to spill his thoughts to someone he’d just met, no matter the fact that they had quickly grown close.

“Do you still want to go to Axel’s? We can always just stay here. I don’t mind texting Roxas that we’re not coming.”

Zexion thought it over, an arm thrown over his eyes. If he didn’t go, then he wouldn’t have to face Demyx and the confusing thoughts that came with him. But if he didn’t go, then the rift between them might never be closed. Whether Zexion had a crush or not, he wanted to at least be on good terms with Demyx, and going tonight would be one big step in the right direction.

“Yes, I still think we should go.” He finally said, sitting up. “We should probably start heading over there now, yes?” He looked in the mirror, straightening his shirt before he noticed a problem. “Xion? Please forgive me, but do you mind turning around?”

Xion, God bless her, didn’t ask questions, she just turned on her heel and placed her hands over her eyes for good measure. Zexion, letting out a small sigh of relief, adjusted himself in his binder until everything was right once more, before buttoning his navy shirt back up and tapping her on the shoulder.

“All good? Oh.” She turned around, her eyes landing on his shoulder. “You’re kinda showing on the shoulder, Zexion. Let me fix it.” She reached out, hesitating until Zexion nodded dumbly, before adjusting his shirt so his binder was completely covered, her tongue sticking out in concentration. Zexion was in shock that there were no questions, no confused looks, that he barely felt her touch on his skin. He didn’t mentally catch up until she was finished, aiming a bright smile at him.

“Perfect! Ready to go?” And that was it. Nothing else to say, no uncomfortable questions. At that moment, Zexion realized that he hoped he stayed friends with Xion for a long, long time.

Zexion nodded, smiling back at her for the first time that day. “Yes, I think so. Just let me…” he trailed off, grabbing his messenger bag. It was empty, save for three books that were extremely important to him. He wanted to bring them just in case his anxiety around people overwhelmed him. These books never failed to calm him down, no matter the situation.

It wasn’t until he headed down the stairs that he realized that he’d have to pass Vexen and Xigbar. Judging by the smirk on Xigbar’s face, he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to embarrass him. It didn’t help that Zexion’s face burned with heat, something that only made Xigbar smirk harder.

“So, where are you two kiddies off to?” He asked, loud enough to grab Vexen’s attention, who had been making tea in the kitchen.

“Zexion? I didn’t know you were going somewhere.” He appeared in the kitchen doorway, two cups of tea in his hands. Well, knowing Xigbar, one cup of tea and one cup of tea with a few splashes of brandy.

“Oh, my apologies. I...must have forgotten to mention it.” Zexion tapped his index finger on the balcony rhythmically, a tic he had developed whenever he was thinking hard or anxious. “Xion and are going over to a friend’s house.”

“And which friend would that be?” Vexen raised a judgemental eyebrow; Zexion had a feeling that Vexen knew, or at least had his suspicions.

“You know...a friend from school.” He shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant. He was almost beginning to think it worked until Xigbar called out, “Would it be the boy you ‘don’t have a crush on’?” Zexion tripped, and if it wasn’t for Xion grabbing his arm, he would’ve careened down the stairs in quite an unsightly fashion.

Xigbar roared with laughter, and Zexion bitterly hoped he choked, face burning with humiliation. If this was what having a crush got him, then he didn’t want it.

“We should be going.” He said through gritted teeth, leading Xion quickly towards the door. He had to force himself to pause when Vexen called his name, but he refused to turn around and reveal his burning face for Xigbar to laugh at again.

“Please be careful.”

Zexion sighed, some of the irritation leaving him. “I will, Vexen. I promise.” With that, he stepped out with Xion into the crisp Autumn night.

“That was…” Xion began, trying not to laugh.

“Abhorrent,” Zexion grumbled, adjusting his messenger bag on his shoulder. “Xigbar isn't going to let that go any time soon.”

“He seems fun.”

Zexion snorted. Yeah, right. Before he could think more about it, they were at the door. He straightened his shirt one last time before giving three polite knocks at the door.

“Zexion! Glad you came! Xion, looking good as usual,” Roxas answered the door, a bright smile on his face. “Axel and Demyx are in the living room, come on and join us!” Zexion narrowed his eyes as Xion gave a bright grin at Roxas' words, a slight flush dusting her cheeks.

Hm.

Zexion didn’t even try to smile. He knew if he did, it would look more like a grimace. Xion, on the other hand, was practically glowing. She took Zexion’s wrist and pulled him along after Roxas, and Zexion didn’t have much time to prepare himself before he found himself face to face with Demyx. The taller boy seemed to have been waiting by the doorway, shooting Xion a bright grin before his eyes landed on Zexion.

“...Hey.” He murmured like he was talking to a scared animal. Zexion hated that it was actually comforting.

“Hello.” Zexion forced himself to meet Demyx’s eyes, except he couldn’t and ended up focusing on his eyebrows. Close enough, right?

“You...look good. Kinda weird seeing you without that stiff uniform.” Demyx tried to joke, an awkward chuckle escaping him.

Zexion took a deep breath through his nose, nodding jerkily. “Thank you. You also...look good..”

God, he wished he could drop dead right about now. It didn’t help that Xion, Roxas and Axel weren’t even pretending not to be nosy; they were dead silent and both boys could feel their eyes on them.

“May I sit?” Zexion blurted, gesturing to an empty spot on one of the two couches.

“Yeah, yeah of course! Go ahead.” Zexion sat primly on the empty couch, trying to ignore the shit-eating grin on Axel’s face as he watched him specifically. Roxas and Xion at least had the decency to finally start up a conversation as Zexion sat down, but Axel was still observing him, like a cat studying an innocent and idiotic little bird. 

“Axel,” Demyx hissed. “Will you cut it out?” Axel raised an eyebrow but finally looked away.

"What? I'm just making sure our new guest is comfortable!"

Zexion let out a breath he sure as hell knew he was holding, his hand itching to reach for one of his books. Xion sat next to him, Roxas on her other side, her gaze worried but compassionate all the same. He gave her a slight nod, warmth bubbling up in his chest as she patted his arm.

“So, what do you guys want to watch?” Roxas broke the slightly awkward silence. Zexion couldn’t really offer much to the conversation, considering he was more of a book person than a movie person.

“What about something Studio Ghibli?” Demyx suggested, rolling his eyes when Axel and Roxas groaned.

“You always want to watch Studio Ghibli!”

“Yeah, because Studio Ghibli is amazing and deserves our praise!”

“Excuse me?” Zexion balked slightly as all eyes turned to him, but he sat up straighter and forced himself to continue. “What's Studio Ghibli?”

Demyx’s mouth dropped open, and he had to stop himself from shaking Zexion like a ragdoll. Where was this man’s childhood?!

“Okay, we are _ definitely _watching Studio Ghibli! And we are starting with the best, Kiki’s Delivery Service!”

Ignoring the groans from Axel and Roxas, Demyx ran upstairs to grab the movie from Axel’s room.

“You’ve really never seen a Studio Ghibli film? What were you doing your entire childhood, man?” Axel teased.

Zexion gave a weak shrug, not really keen on announcing that most of his childhood was spent bouncing from foster home to foster home.

“Got it!” Demyx bounded back down the stairs, his excitement making Zexion smile. Until he noticed Axel grinning at him and looked away, clearing his throat. Did he have to be so obvious? Was it so hard to be somewhat subtle?

Once they got the movie started, Zexion was able to relax a bit more. Almost everyone was carrying on some sort of side conversation. Still, after a while, he found he couldn’t concentrate on the movie either, despite the low volume of the others. It was all just a little overwhelming; he needed a break, some sort of respite.

“Pardon me,” He murmured, clutching his messenger bag as he made his way to the restroom. He didn’t go in, instead, he sat in the hallway with a sigh. He hoped that one day he’d be able to laugh and joke without being overwhelmed, at least not so easily. But for now, he had his books.

Reaching into his messenger bag, he grabbed a well-worn forest green tome, the dust jacket long gone. He rubbed a hand lovingly over the spine, opening the book to see the handwritten dedication inside— 

“Are you serious?”

Zexion startled, clutching his book close to his chest as he looked up and met Demyx’s angry eyes.

“I’m sorry?”

“No, you’re not!” Demyx had a fist clenched by his side, and Zexion had to force himself not to reflexively cover his face. Surely Demyx wasn’t about to hit him? If Zexion had known what Demyx was actually going to do, then he would’ve preferred a punch.

“We invite you over, trying to be friends with you, and you come out here to read?! Why did you even come?!” By now, Zexion could hear that the movie had been paused, likely because of Demyx’s screeching.

“Let me explain—” Zexion got to his feet, still holding the book. Eyes drifting down to the book, something wicked entered Demyx’s expression. Before Zexion could react, Demyx tried to snatch the book out of his hands, Zexion just managing to hold on at the last second.

“Demyx! Please, give it back!” Zexion tried to wrench it away, but the taller boy had a cement-like grip on it.

“No! If you’re going to be here, you’re going to put the book down and come off of your high horse! I’m sick of it!”

“If you would just let me explain, I—”

Angry footsteps approaching cut him off as Roxas, Axel, and Xion finally appeared to see what was going on. “Demyx, what the hell are you doing?!” Roxas demanded, looking like he wanted to step in but not sure how.

“Let go, you're going to rip it!” Xion exclaimed as Axel reached over to pull Demyx away from the book.

Demyx ignored them both, giving one last angry pull to keep it out of Axel's reach. An ugly ripping sound echoed through the hallway, and Zexion felt like he’d been dunked in ice. He watched in horrified fascination as the cover and the first handful of pages from the book drifted to the ground, including the handwritten dedication from someone very important to him. He began to shake, letting out small gasps of pain as tears welled in his eyes. That book had meant everything to him, and now...

Demyx felt his anger flood out of him, replaced by awkwardness and guilt. He stared down at the crumpled book pages he held in his fist, before turning his gaze back to his sobbing rival. Dread filled his stomach, and he had a distinct feeling that he had gone too far.

“I-I didn’t mean—” He started, trying to come up with a way to fix this.

Zexion didn’t realize he’d moved until he felt his hand sting and saw Demyx’s face snap to the side, a bright red handprint glowing on his cheek.

Xion gasped, covering her mouth, while Axel moved in between the boys and Roxas tried to comfort Zexion. None of them seemed to know what to say, glancing back and froth as Zexion felt his entire world tilt on its axis.

Zexion was trembling with panic and barely controlled rage as he hissed through his teeth, “That book...was one of two things...my mother was able to give me. This was one of _two_ _memories_ I had left of her. The _ last _few reminders of her love.” He let out a sob. “...And you took one from me. I only have one thing left now.”

Demyx felt like absolute dogshit. “I...Zexion, I didn’t—” He reached out, but Zexion smacked his hands away. His visible eye burned with a hatred so sharp that Demyx could almost feel it cut him.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever touch me, you-!” Zexion cut himself off, wiping at his face angrily.

He couldn’t stay here anymore. He shoved past them all, bolting down the hallway and out of the house.

“Zexion, wait!” Xion called, running after him.

Demyx watched them go, feeling like he had just fucked up to the worst degree. “I didn’t...I wasn’t…”

“He has anxiety.” Roxas cut in, eyes like glaciers.

“What?”

“He has anxiety. He uses reading to calm himself down. He probably got overwhelmed form being around us and was taking an innocent break, you _ idiot_.”

Demyx floundered, trying to think of anything to justify himself. “I-I didn’t know—”

“How could you not know?!” Axel exploded, making Demyx flinch and step back. “Zexion was obviously overwhelmed during the movie, something you should know since you spent the entire time staring at him, so what the fuck else did you expect?! For him to just sit there and keep getting more and more anxious? Would it have been so hard to put aside your idiotic grudge and think for a minute?” He sighed. “Look, you...you need to go.”

“W-Wait, I need to know how to fix this!” Demyx begged, trying to smooth out the crumpled pages left behind.

“Honestly, Demyx?” Roxas sighed. “I don’t know if you can.” With one last glare, Roxas and Axel disappeared back into the living room, leaving Demyx alone in the hallway surrounded by the paper carnage he'd created.

Demyx felt something shatter inside of him; what if Roxas was right? He had destroyed something so precious that Zexion had held dear. Forget about being a rival, forget about having a crush, just the fact that he had done something so cruel to a person was destroying him. Absentmindedly, he gathered the rest of the book that Zexion had dropped when he ran off. He tucked them carefully into his pockets, before heading out the front door without another word. It wasn't a long walk, since he lived right next to Axel, but he made it longer by going the back way. He didn't know what he would see if he walked towards Zexion's house, but he knew he couldn't face it, not yet.

He may not be able to fix this, but he damn sure was going to try.


	4. He Hates Me, He Hates Me Not

Zexion ran across the street, only stopping when he got to his front porch. He sat on the first step, hiding his face in his knees as he gulped for air between his sobs.

Xion sat silently next to him, not touching him, not bothering him, just making sure she was there for him in case he needed someone.

“I...I left the book there. I didn’t mean to, I…” Zexion wiped his face, trying to calm down and failing miserably.

“Shh...I’ll ask Axel to get it back so you don’t have to talk to Demyx again.” She placed a hand hesitantly on his back.

They both jumped when the front door opened, Vexen and Xigbar peering out with concern and curiosity respectively.

“Zexion? What— Why are you crying?” Vexen asked, flinging the door open wider. Zexion buried his face in his knees once more, not ready to face his guardian’s thousand questions. Xigbar was standing further back, observing with an unreadable expression on his face and staying silent for the moment.

“...” Zexion didn’t seem to be in the mood for talking right now, so Xion filled him in.

“Zexion took a break from the movie we were watching to decompress with some reading. Apparently, it was an important book from his mom or something. Anyway, Demyx caught him reading and tried to yank the book away from him, tearing it in half in the process. Zexion slapped him and ran off, I followed him, and now we’re here.” She finished, rubbing soothing circles into Zexion’s back.

“That cretin did what?!” Vexen lost his damn mind, ranting and raving about what he was going to do to punish Demyx and how he knew he was trouble and on and on and on. Zexion retreated deeper and deeper into his knees, the sound overwhelming him.

Xigbar, bless him, had always been able to see when Zexion needed a break.

“Alright, Vexen. As much as we love hearing how you plan on disemboweling Demyx, I’m sure Zexion would like to relax for the rest of the night.”

Zexion nodded gratefully, his mind lost in a fog.

Bidding Xion goodnight and heading upstairs was a complete blur to him, and he didn’t even realize until he felt the coolness of the sheets that he had changed into his pajamas and gotten under the covers. Looking around to get his bearings, he realized he had closed the blinds, thankfully. The last thing he wanted to do was see Demyx right now, and he thanked his lucky stars that it was the weekend.

He stared at his ceiling for what felt like hours, wanting nothing more than to sleep but his mind running too fast to even entertain the notion. He had really thought Demyx was becoming a friend, someone he could rely on, and then he went and destroyed Zexion’s prized possession without care. Zexion could remember the guilt on Demyx’s face when he’d realized what he’d done, but the guilt meant nothing when the deed had already been done.

Zexion hated that a small, tiny part of him wanted to forgive him. A small, soft part inside of him wanted to take the steps to rebuild what had been broken. Zexion took that small, soft part and stomped it into the dirt. Demyx didn’t deserve his forgiveness, as far as he was concerned, and unless he could somehow make it better, which Zexion highly doubted, he wouldn’t be getting that forgiveness.

“Zexion?” A knock came out the door, soft and tentative. Zexion loved that his guardian was coming to check on him, but he honestly didn’t have any more energy to talk to anyone today. He just rolled over, back facing the door, and buried his face in his pillow.

He heard Vexen sigh, but the man didn’t leave. Zexion couldn’t help it; he strained to hear what he was talking about with Xigbar.

“I hope Zexion will be alright. That book was a final gift from his mother before she passed.” He murmured, and Zexion took a deep and shaky breath at the stab of pain he felt at the reminder.

“The kid’s tough, he’ll be alright. He’ll be hurting for a while, but he’s come too far to back down now.” Xigbar sounded way more confident than Zexion felt, but then again, the man was nothing but confidence. Confidence and a little bit of manic energy.

“What about Demyx?”

He heard Xigbar sigh.

“I think that’s something we have to let Zexion figure out for himself. I know you want to protect him from the world, but the kid’s eighteen now. I’m not saying leave him out high and dry, but let him come to you if he needs help. He’s smart, he knows his limits. Even if he doesn’t always stick to them.” Xigbar laughed, Vexen quickly shushing him.

“Oh please, there’s no way the kid’s asleep. His mind is always racing too much. He’s probably listening to us right now.”

Vexen was silent for a minute, and Zexion held his breath. The last thing he wanted was to be called out for snooping, but what could they expect? They were right outside his door.

“...We should leave him be.” Vexen finally sighed, and Zexion heard their footsteps leave his door and disappear down the hall.

Zexion forced his eyes shut, and the next thing he knew, he managed to fall into a restless sleep.

* * *

Demyx spent all night at work. He had gathered the fallen pages and was doing his best to put them back together. He was using everything from paint to glue to paint to try and turn the book back into something substantial. What really made him wince was the crumpled dedication page, with a handwritten note reading, “Let your heart be your guiding key-Mom”. 

No wonder he’d gotten slapped. Not that he didn’t deserve it.

Demyx’s cheek was still burning from the hit, but it was nothing compared to his guilt. It was eating him up inside, Zexion’s tear-streaked face stuck in the forefront of his memory, his choked sobs echoing in his ears.

“I can’t believe I fucked up this bad,” He groaned, hiding his face in his hands. He was sitting at his desk, going on three AM at this point. The book was nearly pieced back together, and if it wasn’t for the wrinkled pages and the small spaces where the torn white showed through, the book would almost be presentable. Demyx took all of the textbooks out of his bag and set them gently on the abused novel, hoping the weight would straighten out the pages. With that, there was nothing else he could do but wait for everything to dry and hope it would be enough to fix what he’d broken. Even if Zexion wanted nothing more to do with him after this, he at least wanted to do what he could to return Zexion’s prized possession in the best condition possible.

Demyx turned his tired gaze to the window; Zexion had closed his blinds, most likely as soon as he had returned home. Demyx didn’t blame him, of course not, but he wished he could see that calm, mischievous gaze again. Maybe it would wash away the memory of tear streaks running down pale cheeks.

With a sigh, he shut his blinds and flopped on his bed, trying to go to sleep so maybe he could return the book as soon as tomorrow. That is if Zexion didn’t slam the door shut in his face. At the very least, he hoped Axel and Roxas would talk to him again. He hadn’t heard anything from them all night, and it was torture not knowing the state of their friendship.

Demyx rolled over, rubbing his tired eyes with his fists. He was exhausted, but his mind was racing. He was itching to check the book, see if it was drying correctly, but he didn’t want to take the weight off of it before it straightened out. There was just too much going on in his head for him to rest, so he tossed off the covers and went downstairs for something to drink.

“Can’t sleep?” Demyx jumped, whirling around to face the living room. Axel was sitting on his couch, and it took Demyx’s weary brain a long moment to remember that Axel knew where the spare key was.

“What are you doing here?” He murmured, continuing his path to the kitchen.

“Because if I know you’ you’ve spent the entire night trying to fix your mistake, am I right?”

Demyx didn’t bother answering; Axel knew he was right.

“Well, I figured I should come over and check on you, make sure you weren’t beating yourself up too bad.”

“I think I deserve the beating. I mean, look at what I did! I destroyed what was probably Zexion’s most prized possession! He looked so broken, so torn up, Axel. I need to at least try to make this right.”

Axel watched his friend, taking in the bags under his eyes and his solemn expression. “I know, Demyx. But you need to get some sleep. If you’ve been working all night, like I know you have been, then you need to get some rest so that you can do your best work. It’s the weekend, and I’ll stay with you and help you work on it.”

“No!” Demyx exclaimed, eyes wide. “I was the one who messed it up, and I need to be the one to fix it.”

“Fine, fine!” Axel raised his hands in surrender. “But I’m still going to be here to make sure you take breaks and don’t drive yourself insane with guilt.”

Demyx wanted to protest, but he knew from the look in Axel’s eye that he wasn’t going to back down on this. He just flopped back on the couch, covering his eyes with his arms.

“I just want to fix this. Even if he still hates me, I just want him to have his book back.”

Axel sighed; hopefully, Zexion would forgive him. They had such good chemistry before things went to shit, he had seen them in their tutoring sessions. Something special had been growing between them, and it would be a real shame for it to be ruined because of this mistake.

Axel sat with Demyx in silence for a long while, unable to think of anything to say. He didn’t realize just how long they had sat there until he heard Demyx begin to snore. He lifted his friend into his arms, tiptoeing upstairs so Demyx could at least be comfortable in his bed. Then he headed back downstairs to sleep on the couch. Roxas would be over in the morning, but until then, Axel would make sure Demyx stayed afloat. He just hoped Zexion had someone watching over him as well.

* * *

Zexion didn’t realize something was wrong until his alarm went off.

He never slept until his alarm went off; Vexen was always there to wake him up beforehand. Even on the weekends, as today was Sunday, he was kept on a strict schedule. The fact that the wake-up call never came was enough to put him instantly on edge.

“Hello?” He called, poking his head out of his room. No answer. He threw his robe over his pajamas and headed downstairs. It seemed empty, the dishes from breakfast he wasn’t present for sitting in the sink, waiting to be washed.

Peeking out of the front windows, he saw that Vexen’s car was gone. It wasn’t until he stepped into Vexen’s study that he saw a note left on the desk.

“Zexion, I understand that last night was quite an emotional event for you. I know we had planned to go into town this weekend to familiarize ourselves with our new surroundings, but Xigbar advised me that I let you stay home so that you have time to recuperate. I will bring you something from my trip, but in the meantime, please rest your mind. I have enlisted Xion to come and check on you to make sure you are resting as told. — Vexen.” He read aloud, growing more and more confused in the process.

He wasn’t sure how to feel; on one hand, he was grateful for the time alone, especially since he wouldn’t have to see Demyx if he was out on the town as well. On the other hand, maybe he needed the distraction that an outing would bring to forget about what had happened last night. More than anything, he was embarrassed. He had shown some of the most vulnerable sides of himself to people he had barely known for a week, people he couldn’t even really consider friends just yet. Even now, Vexen had only seen him cry twice in their time together since he was six.

With a sigh, he tried to stop thinking about it, occupying himself with going upstairs to get dressed. It wouldn’t do to be in pajamas when Xion came, not to mention inappropriate. Even though he wasn’t feeling himself, he still made sure he looked presentable; button-down, pressed jeans. Then again, it wasn’t like he owned much of anything different. He sat on his bed, staring off into space as his mine ran through the previous night against his will.

No matter how many times he played it through, the memory always served to bring him embarrassment and scorn for himself. Yes, the book was precious, but he was not a child anymore, wandering around the orphanage and wondering where his mother was. He was almost an adult, and he needed to act like one. Part of him wanted to apologize for his behavior, and he would have if it didn’t include seeing Demyx again.

Zexion sat there for what seemed like a lifetime, tossing and turning the memory over and over in his brain until it was imprinted on the back of his eyelids. Finally, he got to his feet and headed downstairs, intent on forcing himself to stop thinking about it. Surely, there was something he could do to take his mind off of things.

He was just starting on the dishes when a light knock at the door sounded.

“One moment, please!” He called, drying his hands before going to answer the door. He was expecting Xion but was taken aback to see Roxas.

“...Can I help you?” He asked, the prior embarrassment flooding through him once more at the thought that Roxas had been there to witness his breakdown.

Roxas smiled softly, looking as if he was approaching a scared animal. “I just wanted to check on you, since last night got a little…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I...I’ll be fine. Xion’s coming over soon to check on me.” Zexion knew he should be a good host and invite Roxas in, but to be honest, it hurt to look at him. He was a reminder of the night, of what had been broken, and he didn’t want that in his house. If that made him a selfish man, then so be it.

Roxas nodded. “Good, good. She’s really good at being there for people who need someone. I’m glad you have someone to be there for you.” He paused, as if he had something else to say, but ultimately decided against it.

“I’ll see you later, Zexion,” He murmured, before turning on his heel and walking back to Demyx’s house next door.

Zexion forced himself not to watch him go, shutting the door with a little more force than necessary.

* * *

“He looks like shit,” Roxas said bluntly as soon as he stepped across Demyx’s threshold.

Axel sighed, rubbing his nose bridge. “Not surprising, but I had hoped maybe he’d be at least somewhat okay.”

“Xion is coming to look after him in a little bit, so he won’t be alone for long.”

Demyx had been a mess ever since he woke up, alternating between running upstairs to work on the book and running downstairs to grab some more coffee. He’d only been awake for three hours and he was already on his third cup.

“Did he really look that bad?” He asked while he was refilling his cup once more.

Roxas wanted to lie, make Demyx feel a bit better, but he knew Demyx would see right through him.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad.”

Demyx sighed, turning on his heel to get back to work.

“He’s really trying to make this right, huh?” Roxas asked, watching Demyx run back up the stairs.

“Yeah. I mean, he really fucked up, but I admire his drive. I just hope Zexion doesn’t hate him for the rest of his life.”

“Well, even if he does, at least Demyx is doing the right thing."

* * *

Zexion had just been drifting off on the couch when a knock at the door roused him once more. This time, he made sure to look through the peephole. He didn’t really want to see Roxas again, or God forbid, Demyx. Luckily, it was the guest he expected.

“Xion, please come in.” He forced a small smile, opening the door for his guest.

“You look tired, Zexion.” She frowned as she stepped inside. “Didn’t sleep well?”

Zexion let out a bitter chuckle. “How could I? My most prized possession was destroyed in front of me and I bawled like an infant in front of people I barely know. I don’t think there was any possibility of me sleeping at all, let alone restfully!” He almost slammed the door shut, but he managed to take a deep breath and shut it normally at the last second.

“Well, maybe it would help if you had someone here. I can make you some lunch and I’ll wake you when it’s ready, how does that sound?” Xion smiled.

Lunch? He looked at the clock, it was already past 11. He had spent so much time in his head, he hadn’t even noticed the time going by.

Zexion tilted his head, silent for the longest moment. “Why...why are you so nice to me?” He asked, a hint of suspicion to his tone. He knew that he was just paranoid from last night and that he really had no reasons to doubt his friend, but sue him for being a little emotional.

Xion chuckled. “Because we’re friends, Zexion. Friends take care of each other, no matter how long they’ve known each other.”

“I wouldn’t know.” Zexion murmured, heading for the living room. Although a nap did sound amazing at this time, he decided to begin organizing the shelves. Since they had just moved in, they hadn’t had a chance to empty all of the boxes and organize them the way they liked. It would be much more stimulating than laying in bed and trying to sleep. Besides, what would Vexen say if he came in to see Zexion sleeping instead of being a good host? The man would scold him for sure, and Zexion didn’t have the patience for that.

“Do you want anything specific?”

“Not particularly, thank you.”

He began pulling the tomes from their boxes, laying them out on the sofa and the floor. Zexion’s hands cradled the hardcovers as if they were infants, his touch tender as he transferred the well-loved objects into their new homes. It was a much welcome distraction, lulling his mind into a sense of security until he heard Xion approach behind him. She had kept it simple with turkey sandwiches, and Zexion paused in his organizing quest to sit with her on the couch.

“You really love books, huh?” She asked, looking over what he’d managed to get done.

Zexion nodded. “They have been a constant companion in the hardest of times.” He admitted.

They ate in comfortable silence, watching whatever documentary Zexion had landed on while flipping through the channels. Xion kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, and Zexion tried his best to remain patient until she said what was on her mind.

“How...I mean, how long...how long have you been adopted? If that’s okay to ask.” Xion finally managed to say.

Zexion raised an eyebrow, mulling the question over. Did he want to answer that? He didn’t see why not; he could always stop the questioning if it got too personal.

“Since I was six years old.”

“Did Vexen know your parents?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Vexen and my father were colleagues. He took me in.”

“Oh.” Thankfully, she didn’t seem to have anything else to say. Even if she did, she didn’t get a chance to say it as they both could hear Vexen’s car pulling up in the driveway.

Zexion gathered their dishes and took them into the kitchen, not ready to face his guardian just yet. He listened to Vexen and Xigbar enter, exchange pleasantries with Xion. He dried his hands to the sound of their chatter, bracing himself on the edge of the counter as footsteps approached him. He knew from the jaunty gait that it was Xigbar. If that was better than Vexen or worse, he wasn’t sure.

“Can I help you?” He asked stiffly, trying his best to retain some form of politeness.

He heard a chuckle, felt a hand come down on his tense shoulder. “Just checkin’ in on you, kid. You really had us worried last night, you know?”

Despite his sarcastic and smarmy tone, Zexion had been around the man enough to know that there was some level of concern there.

“I’m fine. It was a book, nothing more.” He replied stiffly, shrugging off the hand.

“You and I both know that just isn’t true, Zexion. It’s normal to be a little upset about something so important to you.”

“Well, I’m tired of being upset!” Zexion snapped, clenching his fists. “I’m tired of thinking about it, thinking about him! I just want to forget him.”

“Him?”

Zexion hadn’t realized he had started talking about Demyx specifically, not just the incident.

“Never mind,” He muttered, shaking his hanging head.

“You really liked that boy, didn’t you?”

Zexion bristled. “We were growing friends, that’s all. I thought…I had hoped we were…that we could be…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“More?” Xigbar finished for him, and although Zexion didn’t confirm, they both knew what he had meant.

“But I was being foolish.” With that, Zexion brushed past Xigbar and headed back out to the living room to finally greet his guardian.


	5. Something There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to come together.

Nightmares were a common fixture in Zexion’s life.

He had them plenty when he was younger, and though they had faded as he aged, they still had a habit of popping up if he had had an emotional day.

Having the only memento left from his mother be shredded to bits in front of his eyes by a boy he had confusing feelings for definitely applied in this case.

He saw flashes of fire, the echoes of screams blaring in his ears from people he could barely remember. He knew his mother was around, she was always around in these nightmares of past memories, but he couldn’t feel her now, and he definitely couldn’t see her through the smoke.

The fire didn’t burn, though he felt its heat, and although it raged around him, he was frozen solid in that ever present fear that had rooted him as a child during the real event. He was standing in the living room, watching as the old blue couch went up in flames. Why couldn’t he run, even now? It was a dream, he knew he was dreaming, so why couldn’t he move? The screams grew louder, thrumming at his eardrums and threatening to split his skull, but still, he could do nothing but stare at the still burning couch.

People were dying, would die, had died in this house.

Someone grabbed his arm, and then the pain finally seared into his skin like a brand, leaving him breathless with agony as his little six year old fingers tried to pry the hand from his skin, resulting in nothing but burnt fingertips. Zexion sobbed, falling to his knees on the burning wood floor as his fingernails tore apart with the force of his pulling.

He couldn’t even see who the hand belonged to, the owner seemingly blending in with the flame, but he knew it was his father.

Pain had always come from his father, hands rough and angry where his mother’s hands only promised warmth and care. But his mother’s hands weren’t here now, no balm in sight for this agony. The angry, gnarled hand around his forearm began pulling back, yanking his young and weak body into the shadows. A depth much more dangerous than the fire, he found.

Zexion didn’t fight it; that wasn’t how these nightmares worked. He was terrified, shaking with horror, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Yes, this was a nightmare, he knew that well enough, and all he had to do was let it play out until his body finally caught up and forced itself into awakeness.

That didn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, or the way he recoiled at the shadows growing closer. Oh God, they were going to engulf him, swallow him, drown him in the darkness until there’s nothing left!

He swallowed a sob and took a deep breath, closing his eyes as the shadows finally embraced him, and his body finally forced him to wake.

Zexion flung himself upwards so fast he made himself dizzy, gulping down deep breaths of cool air to try and replace the soot left in his lungs after all these years. He stumbled out of his bed, his usual silent steps replaced with loud, unbalanced stomping. He didn’t care about presentation right now, he just needed some goddamn air! The window was thrown open with vigor, and he eagerly stuck his head out to let the night breeze cool him off.

He kept his eyes closed, trying to slowly push out the remnants of the dream. He didn’t need it, it wasn’t real, he was over it, _ he was! _ Zexion had been a child, there was nothing he could’ve done.

He knew that, so why couldn’t he truly believe it?  
Maybe it was because his mother was the only one he would’ve been willing to save, even today. But could he be blamed for that, honestly? He had been...he was…

Zexion was a lover of words. He read them, wrote them, defined them, could spend hours pouring over them. But those two words, ‘abuse’ and ‘traumatized’...he still couldn’t fathom them for himself.

He had seen the reports. He was most definitely...hurt, but even after all this time it didn’t make sense. Zexion honestly didn’t even remember most of his childhood; it couldn’t have been that bad if he couldn’t remember it!

But Zexion was smart enough to know that it didn’t work like that. Psychology didn’t work like that; the brain didn’t work like that. Out of sight, and even out of mind, doesn’t mean the memory is always erased. His best bet was to try not to think about it, but in times like these, with bitter ash still coating his tongue, it was all he could do not to lose himself to the shadows of memories.

Finally, he opened his eyes. Demyx’s window was closed, and thank God for that; Zexion didn’t know if he could handle knowing that Demyx had seen him basically toss his head out of a window, gulping down air as if he’d been suffocating. Demyx’s light was still on, though, and for a moment Zexion wondered what he could be up to, why he was awake in the middle of the night.

Then he remembered that the asshole had destroyed his most prized possession, and recalled that he should not give a single flying fuck what Demyx is doing.

He was still hot, and sweaty to boot. He closed the blinds and grabbed clean pajamas from his drawer, making his way to the shower that was thankfully attached to his room.

If asked, he wouldn’t recall turning on the water, making sure it was as cold as possible without the risk of causing damage to himself. He couldn’t stand the thought of any more heat. He wouldn’t recall cleaning himself, or recall feeling the usual shower dysphoria that plagued him. The next time he finally tuned back in, he was lying on his bed, hair damp and body dry, dressed in his clean clothes and staring at the ceiling.

He slowly turned to look at the clock on his bedside table. It wasn’t even one in the morning. Zexion still had another six hours before he had to get up, so he really should get back to sleep.

The thought of sleep made his stomach lurch, and he had to sit up before he threw up all over himself. The bile didn’t come up, thankfully, but it was a close thing.

“I doubt sleep will come to me now.” Zexion murmured, voice hoarse. Still he forced himself to at least lay back down, grabbing his phone and turning on his playlist of audiobooks. Tonight was a night for fairytales, he decided as he closed his eyes, and if he let himself relax for a moment, he could hear his mother’s voice lulling him to sleep with her stories.

* * *

Time passed, and as the sun rose above the trees, Zexion could honestly say that he still felt like absolute dogshit. He had lost track of the tales being told, but he didn’t turn them off, afraid of what the silence would bring.

His alarm went off, but Vexen never came to knock on his door, or see if he was awake. Was he letting Zexion get another day off? In a row? Maybe Vexen was the one losing his senses here. Zexion waited, watching the time tick by on his phone. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Twenty. What the hell? His suspicions were confirmed when he heard Vexen’s car pull out of the driveway.

He was alone.

He sat up in bed, his head throbbing from the lack of sleep. His sock clad feet were once again silent on the floor, if not slightly unsure. He paused his playlist, listening to hear if there was even a hint of someone else still in the house. He heard nothing.

Zexion, usually one who preferred peace and quiet, found the current silence completely and utterly disarming. It was too still, too silent, too much like the calm before the storm.

Before he could turn on one of his classical music playlists, maybe something with a soothing energy, the doorbell rang.

Why was someone at his door?! It was early morning and he didn’t even have a binder on, he wasn’t dressed properly to grab the newspaper off the front porch, let alone answer the door and talk to someone. The doorbell rang again, and Zexion honestly considered calling Vexen and reporting an intruder. But knowing his guardian, he would call the police, and the person at the door could be a little kid selling candy or something. So with an annoyed huff, he ran upstairs to put on a binder under his sleep shirt, and threw a robe over the whole ensemble just in case.

The doorbell rang again, and Zexion didn’t want to answer it, honestly. He may not have liked the silence but that didn’t mean he wanted company. But still, it was time for him to start acting like himself again, and that included being a proper gentleman. So with a deep breath, he opened the door.

And there, clad in jeans and a simple tee shirt, was the storm.

* * *

Demyx had planned for this moment. He was running on maybe three and a half hours of sleep, and it would have to be enough. The book was finally ready, restored to the best of his ability. The imperfections weren’t invisible, he wasn’t magic, but if one took a sideways glance at it, the book would look completely normal.

Still, seeing Zexion standing there with a haunted look and a pitiful frown, reminded Demyx that he had severely fucked up, and he wouldn’t have had to do all of this in the first place if he hadn’t been such an asshole to begin with.

“....Hey.” He whispered, the air growing thick between them. Shit, this tension was going to suffocate him before he could even give the book back! The object in question was wrapped in simple brown paper, nothing too flashy. He thought Zexion would appreciate that and maybe see it for what it was; an attempt to make things right.

“Why are you here?” Zexion’s voice was ice, and Demyx shuddered as it shivered down his spine. “Haven’t you done enough? You got to see me at a most vulnerable moment, destroyed my most prized possession, what more could you want?”

Demyx wanted to protest, but what could he say? Zexion was right. Demyx recalled talking to Axel about wanting to shatter Zexion’s composure, just once, but after last night he wished he could go back in time and swallow those words before he cursed himself. He would take Zexion’s stony gaze forever if it meant sparing him the pain he had caused.

“I won’t stay long.” He promised. The package was pulled from behind his back, and he held it out with a shaky hand. Zexion stared at the package, then back at him, suspiciously reaching out and snatching it. Demyx couldn’t blame him, even with the pang of hurt that ran through his body.

The plan had been to turn and leave, but he found himself frozen as he watched Zexion open the package. His expression was bitter at first, then confused, then shocked. Zexion trailed his fingers over the repaired cover, index finger tracing the thin but strong lines of glue holding it together. Zexion began flipping through the book, and Demyx prayed to whatever God was merciful enough that everything would stay together. Apparently that God was listening, because nothing fell apart, everything stayed still, and Demyx began to feel hope bloom in his chest that this could be fixed.

Zexion landed on the dedication page last, visibly holding his breath. It was as close to brand new as it would ever be again. The page had been flattened out, fresh as the day before the damage, and the dedication stood out in stark black ink. He could still see some of the old crease lines, faint as they were.

Nothing was perfectly the way it had been, and it never would be, but this was an amazing start.

Demyx was going to cry if Zexion didn’t say something. Seriously, the boy was silent and still as stone! He couldn’t see through the curtain of slate blue hair, but he didn’t want to speak up and ruin his chances by saying something stupid.

Finally, Zexion cleared his throat, wiped his eyes, and looked up. He wasn’t smiling, but it was close.

“...Would you like to come inside?” He murmured, and Demyx, completely caught off guard, could only nod and allow the shorter boy to lead him inside. He kept his eyes on the wooden floor, not even looking up when he took his shoes off by the welcome mat.

He sat down at the kitchen table, fiddling with his hands as Zexion puttered around in the kitchen in the next room over. He thought about texting Roxas and Axel, ask them what to do in this situation, but the thought seemed disingenuous. If he was going to try and make this right, he would need to do it himself. Zexion deserved his own words, not a prewritten script from his friends.

Zexion settled in the chair across from him, still caressing the book in wonder. It made Demyx smile, happy that he could do something for him.

“I...I honestly don’t know what to say to you, Demyx.” Zexion said, his voice soft but slightly shaky with nerves. “You destroyed my book, one of two mementos I had left of my mother. You scared me, you...you hurt me.”

Demyx shrunk down on himself with each accusation. He knew it was true, but fuck, he didn’t expect it to hurt so much hearing it spelled out so plainly.

“However…” Demyx looked up, meeting Zexion’s eyes for the first time since he walked inside the house. Zexion wasn’t smiling, not really, but the small quirk of his lips was more than Demyx could’ve asked for.

“You went out of your way to fix it. I saw your light on last night, I assume this is what you were working on?” Demyx nodded. He wondered what Zexion had been doing up so late, but from the faint dark circles under his eyes, he figured it wasn’t his place to ask at this point.

“It’s not perfect. It never will be again.” Zexion continued as Demyx studied his hands, biting his lip to try and hold back the waves of guilt crashing against his sternum.

“But I can work with this. I can work with you.” If Demyx was just a bit more tired, had a little less restraint, he would’ve hugged all of the air out of Zexion’s body, maybe even spun him around. But he had just started to put things together; he wouldn’t break them again. Instead, he just gave a small smile and nodded his head.

“I...Thank you. I know I have a lot to make up for, but I really want to fix this. Just because we’re rivals doesn’t mean— “

“We’re rivals?” Zexion interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

Demyx flushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah! I kinda started to consider us academic rivals. I mean, my grades have been really improving since you started tutoring me.”

Zexion blinked at him once, twice. Then he smirked, sharp and amused.

“Alright. But if we’re rivals now, should I be tutoring you?”

“Of course! That’s the only way I have a fair shot!"

That made Zexion tilt his head, confusion crossing his features. “Pardon? Demyx, you do the work yourself, I just help you understand it. It’s you who puts in the final mile to make sure you know what you’re doing. I truly believe that you could do amazing things in school without me.”

“Why would I want to do anything without you?”

Demyx didn’t really realize what he’d said until he said it, and by then it was much too late. Zexion’s eyes widened, and he ducked his head so his bangs covered his face. Was he flustered? No, probably just feeling awkward.

“I-I mean, you know, because…” He couldn’t think of how to fix this! He could practically see the foundations of the bridge between them fading away, just when he had started building them back up again. Demyx buried his face in his hands, seriously contemplating knocking himself out cold on the hardwood kitchen table.

A sound in the driveway broke the ever increasing awkwardness that had begun to build up, and Zexion gratefully went to the door to see who was pulling up in his driveway.

“Uh, should I go?” Demyx asked. If it was Vexen, Demyx did _ not _want to be around. If the man didn’t like him probably hated his guts now; Vexen would probably try to strangle him and use his body as an anatomy dummy in Biology class!

“You don’t have to, I’m sure my aunt will be happy to see you again.”

Demyx tilted his head. Now, his memory might not be the best, but he knew good and damn well that he had never met Zexion’s aunt, of all people.

“...Uh, Zexion? I don’t think I know your…”

Zexion opened the door, and Demyx’s words faded out quicker than Spiderman faded from Tony Stark’s arms.

“...Mrs. Aqua?!”


End file.
